Detachment

For those of you who have been following my blog, you know that I have been in a space of "active waiting", a term coined by Sue Monk Kidd's in her book, " When the Heart Waits". The term refers to the time in our lives that requires no action, but rather in-action or 'BE-ing'. This can feel passive, as if one is doing nothing. For someone like myself, who's middle name is action, this has been a very challenging time indeed. Kidd points out that the waiting is the work, and I am living testament to that statement! But the reality is that I had no other choice. Nothing was lining up; nothing was fitting; nothing was happening. My 'driving skills' had failed me. I had lost control. There was nothing else to do but wait. And so I waited and prayed. And found I had only God to trust; that He had a better plan for me.

During the waiting period, I had the great good fortune of a 10+ day trip to New England where I spent quality & quantity time with many of my favorite people, who welcomed me with opened arms! I actually had more invitations then I had days to spend! I spent barefoot days on many beaches, took long walks, slept late, did jigsaw puzzles, ate ice cream, took in a movie and basked in the unconditional love of family & friends.

As I returned home, I couldn't quite remember what all of my 'waiting' was about. And realized that I have been in a perpetual state of waiting the better part of my life. I have found myself asking, "What exactly have I been waiting for?"

Life feels really rich right now, in this minute with four beautiful healthy children who love and (generally) respect me, many friends who accept me and love me exactly as I am, food in my belly and clothes on my back, a strong relationship with God and a few dollars in my wallet. Perfect? No. But darn close!

I implore you to be with your 'waiting' when it comes---because it will come---without taking the easy exit; the quick fix. Just be with the waiting. It's when God allows your soul to grow up.

Be well.